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Power Ranking ‘Hard Knocks’ biggest heroes

 Here are all of episode 3’s breakout characters

Power Ranking ‘Hard Knocks’ biggest heroe

1. Dan Campbell’s Dirty Jeans

After the Lions lost their first preseason game to a last-second touchdown, Campbell had some choice words for his team. He compared the defeat to dirt on your clothes, the final pieces of losing that needed to be washed away before his team can move forward. 

It was a wonderful metaphor, but when Campbell shook out his jeans and a metric ton of flour exploded off of them I laughed out loud. Who has that much flour on their jeans? Does Dan Campbell secretly moonlight as the sous chef in a fine french bakery? Did he trip and fall into a vat at Gold Medal mills? More questions than answers here, Dan.

 

2. Duce Staley’s Voice

During the joint practice sessions with the Indianapolis Colts, running backs coach Duce Staley became so animated that he lost his voice. Happens to the best of us, but rarely do the best of us have to chide our running back group afterwards. The faint high-pitched curse words brought a tear to my eye and credit to his players for keeping a straight face during his tirade.

 

3. Josh Adams’ Roast

Always fun to have a professional Detroit stand-up comedian roast a room full of grown men. Whether it was calling linebacker Alex Anzalone Thor or claiming Hulk Hogan coached the team, Adams was spot-on with his jokes. A nice bit of levity excellently timed after a rough first joint practice. Got the mood right before heading into the second preseason game.

 

4. Jamaal Williams’ Jekyll and Hyde Performance

Before practice, we saw him dancing on the field and throwing footballs to young children in the crowd. Classic good guy stuff. During practice, however, the beast Williams called for in his episode one speech came out to play, aggressively attacking every opposing linebacker in his sights as he trash talked the entire team. He even called out injured linebacker, Shaquille Leonard, ordering him to “put the pads on” if he wanted some. It was clear that Williams is a different cat.

 

5. Kalil ‘The Juggler’ Pimpleton

Some people sing. Some people dance. Kalil Pimpleton juggles. The undrafted rookie out of Central Michigan left his mark on the team as he juggled three tennis balls with the skill of a Cirque Du Soleil member. At first he struggled, dropping one early, but as his confidence rose he was throwing the balls under his legs and behind his back with grace. It didn’t quite get the reaction of Aidan Hutchenson’s rendition of ‘Billie Jean’ but it sure had the crowd buzzing.

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