Houston, we have, like, so many problems. 

The Texans, which entered the season with very low expectations, have somehow still been disappointed. Under new head coach Lovie Smith, the team appeared plucky at the very least to open the season. Five weeks in with a 1-3-1 record, it seemed Houston might actually overperform. 

Then the wheels came off.

Five straight losses, none of them particularly close. Houston ranks second to last in the NFL in average yards allowed, and dead last in average yards gained. 

There are some good young pieces (hellooooo, Dameon Pierce) but for a roster clearly in need of a talent infusion after trading away Deshaun Watson, maybe the losses aren’t the very worst thing to happen. Draft position is at a premium for the Texans right now, whether Davis Mills is the future at quarterback or not. 

Fortunately (depending on your perspective) Houston’s quest for the No. 1 overall pick should get a boost when they travel to play against a Dolphins team that’s literally superior to them in every conceivable facet. That’s uh… more bad news for the Texans. Or great news, depending on your perspective.

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