nfl

I can't quit you, Kyle Pitts


Published: 11/08/22
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I did it. I picked Kyle Pitts. In all three of my fantasy leagues. Whether it be auction or snake draft. Kyle Pitts was chosen by me to lead the tight end position to new heights. And I was ELATED about it. Told all my friends.

Dare I say, I bragged.

Fast forward two months later and I am still struggling to fix my mistake. Long ago I eschewed my pride and admitted the monumental error of my ways. Long ago I nabbed replacements like Robert Tonyan and Taysom Hill. Yet still, every week, Kyle Pitts lands in my starting lineup. He's proving tougher to get rid of than the beer stains on my college dorm's area rug.

It what has become a Sunday ritual Scott Hanson cuts to a Falcons feed on the Redzone channel, and I see the ball sail over the head of my superhuman tight end. The bloody mary in my stomach churns as Marcus Mariota, bless his soul, tries his damndest to complete passes longer than the length of a Subway sandwich. Still, every throw remains a gamble. And it's a gamble I can not quit.

I'm addicted to Kyle Pitts. This is my cry for help.

Now we look towards Thursday evening. On the Bezos+ Feed. As the division-leading Atlanta Falcons take on the somehow still playoff-eligible Carolina Panthers. And I am forced to hear Al Michaels openly berate the entire existence of professional football for three hours as he watches Arthur Smith call plays created in 1955.

My eyes will be trained on the screen. My hands will be fidgeting through multiple fantasy apps. And my heart will sink to new lows. You could say, I'm in the Pitts... the Kyle Pitts.

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