Sure, we know Dasher and Dancer. Prancer and Vixen too. But do you recall, the most famous football slate of all?

It's time for our second annual NFL-schedule-as-Santa's-reindeer football article. As the kids say, this content smacks.

Dasher: Packers @ Dolphins

Dasher is first out the gate for a reason and it's in the name. This dude can fly. Number one pick when playing tag in the schoolyard, Dasher famously didn't run the 40 at the scouting combine because he "don't need to, they know me."

Obviously, Tyreek Hill and the Miami Dolphins are forever tied to Dasher but don't sleep on the overall team speed of Green Bay's suddenly potent offense. Dasher loves points and these two teams (along with some poor defenses) should score aplenty.

Dancer: Lions @ Panthers

Nothing can affect Dancer's mood once the lights turn on and the music starts playing. She's an absolute blast to be around and brings the energy 100% of the time.

Dan Campbell gives off big-time Dancer energy. A 1-6 skid to start the season? No worries, we'll be .500 by Christmas! Detroit loves dancing, especially Jamaal Williams.

Prancer: Giants @ Vikings

The prima donna of the group, Prancer has never met a touchdown celebration he didn't enjoy. Prancer is very big on self-promotion and has set his eye on one team this NFL season that he thinks suits him best.

It's the purple people eaters of Minnesota. Justin Jefferson is the most dangerous weapon in the NFL and knows it. Plus Kirk Cousins takes any chance he can get to take his shirt off and put on a teammates jewelry. Rumor has it the Vikings recently let an opponent score the first 33 points against them just so they could test themselves and have a record setting comeback. Absolute showboats.

Vixen: Chargers @ Colts

A heartbreaker. Vixen's sin is that she genuinely cares about everyone around her, not knowing that they then fall in love with her only to have her break their heart. Vixen is dangerous but it's not her fault.

Same with the Chargers. They're really trying guys, every year they do. But then they'll lose some dumb game on some dumb play to some dumb opponent and all your hopes and dreams of a bright future will float away.

Comet: Texans @ Titans

A fiery competitor who rushes blindly forward at the speed of light. Once you say 'go' it's tough to get Comet to stop, even tougher to get him to change course.

The Titans have been struggling on offense all year long and many fans have been calling for the job of Offensive Coordinator Todd Downing, but Head Coach Mike Vrabel is loyal to his guys and is holding firm. Could Comet be heading in the wrong direction?

Cupid: Commies @ Niners

Constantly setting up others for success, Cupid rarely thinks about himself. He'd rather see his friends succeed then think about his own personal gains. A perfect team player.

There's a Purdy good chance the 49ers are gonna make a postseason run because they not only trust themselves but also each other. No matter what injury hits them or which big-name player takes a fall, San Francisco has the "next man up" attitude that makes their success inevitable.

Donner: Falcons @ Ravens

A mysterious fella, Donner usually keeps to himself but seems nice enough. Always has an excuse when you ask him out for drinks after work. Never really talks about his weekend plans or any family stuff. Just shows up and does his job but something seems off.

Something seems off about the Baltimore Ravens. This Lamar contract situation has bubbled under the surface long enough that it has leeched into everyday life. The roster seems stacked, the coaches are elite and the schedule is soft. So why are they still struggling to find their footing?

Blitzen: Bills @ Bears

Remember the childhood rhyme, "Can't go over it, can't go under it"? Blitzen has never not gone directly through it. While he may be a step slower than the rest, if Blitzen lines you up, it's over.

Blitzen is Josh Allen. No one thought the inaccurate man-child from Wyoming would turn into an MVP candidate but here he is. Throwing laser beams and lowering his shoulder into any obstacle in his way.

Rudolph: Eagles @ Cowboys

Rudolph was an outcast before he blazed a path of glory and found himself leading the pack. I'd like to think that if Rudolph was around today he'd live in a trailer outside of his local gym and consistently wear jean shorts and sunglasses.

Oh and he'd DEFINITELY sport a Fu Manchu - mullet combo!


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