Frank Reich is officially out in Indy, and the Colts wasted no time moving on. NFL, meet Jeff Saturday. Saturday, meet the NFL. We give that introduction in sincerity because this man literally has no NFL experience... in any capacity. Ever.

Colts owner Jim Irsay held an introductory press conference for Saturday, and my god — it was a goldmine of content. We saw many sides of Irsay in the presser. In fact, we saw enough sides of Irsay that we've captured one quote that can speak to the heart of every astrological sign.

Find your sign and enjoy all that Irsay had to say.

For the Aries

You wanna bet against this guy? Put your money down, people. HA-HA, LOVE TO SEE IT!”

For the Taurus

You’d be wrong because your opinion really doesn't matter. What matters is the facts.”

For the Gemini

I wanted a winning coach, a winning playoff coach, a winning coach that was proven to come in with our franchise. Now, I’m GLAD he doesn't have any NFL experience.”

For the Cancer

Are you kidding me? I mean, blech.”

For the Leo

“You know, certain people just have it. They have it.”

For the Virgo

“You know, you operate like the CIA. It’s very analytical, it’s very emotionless, it’s very methodical."

For the Libra

(To Jeff Saturday) “Have you talked to Peyton yet? Don’t answer! Don’t answer!”

For the Scorpio

“You know how many shots Michael Jordan’s missed? You know how many games Michael Jordan’s lost?”

For the Sagittarius

“I’m an open-minded person. I stay open-minded until the very….. until I have to…I am not closing my mind, you know, how many times in life can you say ‘I’m 100%, I know I’m right?’ Never!”

For the Capricorn

“Expectations are high here. Look, we’re the fourth-winningest franchise in the league since 2000, all right. That means in the upper quartile of winners we’re in the top quartile of that upper quartile. That’s rare air”

For the Aquarius

“I don't know how to make sausage. I don’t know what goes into sausage. But I do know how to build a football team.”

For the Pisces

“No, the game is not different. We don’t build rockets to go to Mars. We’re not nuclear scientists, that is not our job here. It’s a very simple job that we do here.”

In case you're in disbelief that these are real words that came out of a grown man's mouth, check out the full highlight reel on Gaming Society's TikTok.

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