In case you missed it: Elon Musk is a huge tool. Tesla's CEO has officially acquired Twitter for $44 billion, decided to monetize the verification system, and enacted mass layoffs. Boooo.

We're out on paying $8 per month for our checkmarks. So instead, here are three NFL bets we'd rather stake $8 on in Week 9 instead of paying for Twitter Blue. Join us over on FanDuel Sportsbook.

The bet: Chargers vs. Falcons OVER 49.5 points

The Falcons have low-key been scoring points. Somehow, they're tied for the sixth-most points scored through the first eight weeks. HOW?! The Chargers have been a little more disappointing, and now they'll likely be without star wide receivers Keenan Allen and Mike Williams. Still, they've got one of the league's best quarterbacks who's overcome adversity before.

Now, these two teams go head-to-head, both ranked bottom 12 by Pro Football Focus in coverage grade and bottom eight in overall defense. Bad defense = points scored. It's math. Sports bettors agree, too, with a stunning 85% of the money bet on this game's point total sitting on the over.

You win if: the Chargers and Falcons combine for 50 or more points. Bet $8 to win $7.27 profit, for a take-home total of $15.27.

The bet: Seahawks +110 (to win)

We're kinda obsessed with the Geno Smith underdog story. The sportsbooks had this team projected dead last in the NFC West with their win total projected at 5.5 games. They just need one more win to pass it, and this week, they face a familiar divisional rival — the Arizona Cardinals. Kliff Kingsbury shared this week that the Cardinals have trailed in 91% of games through eight weeks. The Seahawks have been one of the most explosive offenses in the league. We're rallying for the underdog!

You win if: the Seahawks win! It's a literal win-win. Bet $8 to win a profit of $8.80, and take home a total of $16.80.

The long-shot bet: Each team to score 1+ passing touchdowns in 1 p.m. ET games (+4300)

We've got eight games in the 1 p.m. ET window in Week 9:

  • Chargers vs. Falcons

  • Dolphins vs. Bears

  • Panthers vs. Bengals

  • Packers vs. Lions

  • Raiders vs. Jaguars

  • Colts vs. Patriots

  • Bills vs. Jets

  • Vikings vs. Commanders

The Colts, Raiders and Giants were the only teams on this list that didn't score a passing touchdown in Week 8. At these odds — profit? Yeah, I'll take those odds!

You win if: All of the above teams score a passing touchdown. Bet $8 to win $344 profit for a take-home total of $352. These odds are exclusive to FanDuel Sportsbook.

Sign up now and deposit $10 to earn your first "No Sweat Bet" and up to $1000 in site credit if your first bet doesn't cash!

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