With the start of NFL training camp arriving like Nic Cage in Con Air, it’s time to make big and bold predictions about the 2023 NFL season. While it may be popular to project who raises the Lombardi trophy or who gets voted Most Valuable Player, sometimes the best bet to make before a ball is snapped resides in the mud.
That’s right, a bet on who is going to stink at football the most. The Stink-Off. Candidates are aplenty, but here’s the case for a few squadrons that will likely make generations of fans spend Sundays with their families picking apples.
Houston Texans +350 (bet $100 to win $350)
The Texans are the betting favorites for the No. 1 pick in the 2023 NFL Draft, and hiring Lovie Smith to be their head coach probably didn’t help. Last year, Smith headed up the Texans’ defense and had them ranked 31st in the league (out of 32). Before that, he was the head coach at the University of Illinois and had a robust win-loss record of 17-39.
Tell me the game has passed you by without telling me the game has passed you by. The only thing holding back the Texans from being a slam dunk stinker is their two divisional games against the also potentially bad Jacksonville Jaguars.
Chicago Bears +1000 (bet $100 to win $1,000)
Oof. While the future of Justin Fields is bright, the present is a disaster. Matt Nagy is thankfully gone, but for some unknown reason, the brass in the Windy City brought in a defensive-minded head coach for their unfinished product at QB. Additionally, Fields’ weapons at the skill positions might not start on any other roster in the NFL.
Lastly, the recent staple of this franchise, the defense, has stripped itself down to the bare bones via trade and free agency. Even their All-Star linebacker Roquan Smith is currently holding out. Tough time ahead.
New York Giants +2000 (bet $100 to win $2,000)
It’s almost over, Giants fans. Daniel Jones is entering the last year of his rookie deal and presumably the last year of his New York tenure. With new head coach Brian Daboll – the brains behind Josh Allen and the Bills’ recent resurgence – the future is bright. This roster, however, is dull as dishwater.
Former GM Dave Gettleman left the Giants pinned against the salary cap, so improvements will have to wait a season to flesh out. These odds look juicy, even with the Giants having an easy strength of schedule.