The NFL added a 17th game to the regular season, opening up the possibility for history to be made and the Detroit Lions are running with it… in the opposite direction. Eight games into the season, the Motor City Kitties are without a win. Will they end that way, too?

The Lions have been here before. In 2008, Detroit became the first team to go 0-16 in the regular season. Before he had a perfectly quaffed head of hair on ESPN, Dan Orlovsky was running out of the back of the endzone on this mangy squad, handing out two-to-seven free points to whichever defense wanted it. Current head coach Dan Campbell was a tight end for this mythical ‘08 team, and clearly the rotten apple of defeat has not fallen far from this tree of woe.  

This year has been difficult for Michiganders all over. As if losing a divisional game on a last-second field goal from a guy with two first names (Greg Joseph) wasn’t enough, they also fell on a last-second field goal that was the LONGEST EVER RECORDED. This team seems immunized towards winning.

It’s Time To Root For Pain

A bet for Detroit to go 0-17 sits at +500 (bet $100 to win $500). Now don’t get crazy, that’s essentially taking a nine-game moneyline parlay with ALL heavy favorites. As we’ve seen the past two weeks, the NFL isn’t always kind to superior teams playing inferior opponents (still looking at you BUFFALO).  

A safer bet seems to be Detroit’s season-long win total. You can wager that the Lions will win less than 1.5 games on the season at +105 odds (bet $100 to win $105). Now ‘safe’ may be another word for ‘boring’, but hey, profit is profit. 

The most adventurous wager, however, resides in when Detroit will get its first win. Will it be this week while visiting Big Ben and the Pittsburgh Steelers at +340? How about Thanksgiving Day while sharing a turkey leg with Justin Fields and the Bears at +200? Or could we drag this out to the bitter end; Week 18 against what could be a resting and playoff-bound Packers squad at +3000 odds? As lifelong Rams fan Paris Hilton would say, ‘That’s Hot’.

The Takeaway

The 2021 Lions stand on the precipice of greatness. Becoming the first team to lose seventeen games in the regular season would be a story made for Hollywood (hopefully starring Zachary Levi, love that guy). So make your bets, grab some popcorn and enjoy the carnage.